Do it before it starts A man rushes home late from work, slams the door open and plops himself down on the sofa. He turns on the tv and looks at his wife “quick” he says “get me a beer and some food before it starts!”

Jokes

Masked Halloween Party A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. Wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed...

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Lie Detecting Robot A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night....

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A Bird Named Steve There once was a man named Paul. He was very quiet and nice and never yelled or sweared. He had a bird named Steve. Steve was very rude. He was always burping, yelling, or cursing...

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The Shredder A young engineer was leaving the office at 5:30 p.m. when he found the CFO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand....

Jokes